My First Year in Review
Looking back through all the mental, psychological, social, and physical memory files of my first year in college at UC CCM, my brain feels like it could explode. Although this might sound painful or overwhelming, I wouldn’t trade the experiences I had this year for the world. The amount of learning in the classroom/studio and in ways I hadn’t even expected showed me how strong and yet so vulnerable I am capable of being. Ultimately, I have unearthed and rebirthed myself several times throughout this process of higher education and have emerged as a more technically and emotionally trained dancer, both inside and out of the studio. I have learned when to push and when to let be, how to pick up more dance material faster, and how to be more precise with my technique without sacrificing my inner and outer sanctity of motion and grace. One particular time of the year that was extremely trying was January, February, and the first week of March, leading into the Choreographer’s Showcase. During this time, I danced around 35-40 hours a week between classes and all the endless rehearsals getting ready for the performance. Because I was chosen for three pieces which all had several rehearsals a week, I barely ever had a moment to just breathe. On top of this, I worked on Thursdays and Friday nights and had homework for other classes weaved into the whole struggle. I definitely had moments when I was so stressed out that I didn’t know what to do with myself, and just wanted a break. I would have to wake up for morning classes at eight or nine in the morning and not get to rest my feet or stop moving (since I had dancing all day, acting class or work in the evening, and more rehearsals after) until midnight, usually. Although the times were rough, and a tiny, cramped dormitory room had my mental state teetering over into quasi-insanity even more, I got through it and discovered just how worth it the performance always is once the hard work has been put in. It was especially exhilarating dancing in pieces that my peers choreographed because I got to see their eyes light up at the end of the process and feel the gratitude they had for my effort and attention throughout the process. In the end, performance is my ultimate source of natural thrill and ecstasy, and being in so many pieces inspired me to try my own hand at choreography this coming year. The biggest lesson I can extract from such a trying time leading up to the performance is to find the little, serene, blissful moments that appear in pockets of time when you least expect them, and to create more of them through a positive, healthy state of mind and self-respect. It’s easy when I’m worn thin to criticize myself or to question why I am doing everything if I am in such a whirlwind of classes and rehearsals to the point where I feel like a drone. However, over the course of the whole year, I discovered my resonating passion for throwing everything I have into the art form of dance. Seeing how I have grown artistically and how I have overcome some physical obstacles that I thought were impossible to work with keeps an optimistic feeling in my bones for my future. This being said, I have infinite miles to go on my journey as a professional dancer and will continue to work hard every day and to strive to take myself to a higher level.
Over the course of this year, I have developed a mind-bogglingly vast and diverse array of significant relationships and connections, each one with its own particular purpose, essence, and emotional (and sometimes professional) attachment in my life that makes me even more of who I am and who I was meant to be. I never doubted my ability to network with people, since communicating and connecting have forever been two of my favorite pastimes, but the amount of experiences I have shared with such a multitude of people sends me reeling when I think back to it all, and yet the process felt and still feels so natural. One particular group of people whom I love so very dearly and who have aided my growth and expression this year are a group of friends I became associated with, nicknamed the “Klotter Family”. This conglomeration of people who enjoy art, music, festivals, movement, and togetherness have truly inspired me to love freely, to be passionate about what I do, and to share the fruit of my labor with as many people as possible. Going into college as a young lady who always stuck out as “that artsy, eccentric person with crazy clothes” and who loved going to music festivals and concerts ever since I was sixteen years old, I knew there was bound to be a group of Cincinnati people who acted, thought, and expressed themselves the same way I did…I just had to find them. As an avid night-owl and social explorer, I spent the beginning of the year testing the waters with many different people in plenty of scenarios, but things really clicked once I met the Klotter Family people at a concert at the Mad Frog. Once I started spending time with them, my life felt much more complete with such a compassionate, open-minded group of people whom I could depend on for love, comfort, and company whenever I needed it. I ended up going to at least one or two concerts every single weekend with these fellow music-lovers, and through all the nights of jam-bands, electronic music, meditating, hula-hooping, fire-spinning, and sharing, Klotter grew an especially warm place in my heart. Around ten of them even came to see my performance in the Choreographer’s Showcase! It was awesome seeing so many dreadlocked heads in the crowd, beaming at me and cheering me on. With these people I truly feel welcomed and stimulated to create more and to change the way people see the world in a positive way. This coming year I will be living with three fellow hula-hoopers who have become some of my best friends and soul sisters, and with whom I have bonded through Klotter events and concerts. There is nothing more inspirational to me than to be around other strong young women who have a passion for art, music, health, and flow arts and who respect me for exactly who I am.
One more connection that I made in conjunction with the Klotter Family and the concert/festival scene this year was meeting the band Manitoa, whom I now tour with and perform ballet with at festivals all around Ohio and West Virginia. Finding inspiration and dance-happiness at a show that Manitoa played at Cosmo’s Bar in Covington, Kentucky in late March, I decided to tell the guitarist, Eric, how much I enjoyed his music and how talented and unique I found them all. In a magical sequence of events, Eric offered to let me dance with them onstage at all their shows from then on, and to create a unique fusion of ballet, belly dance, and “rocktronica” music which is something people have never seen before. Taken away by this offer and excited to start a new adventure, I agreed, and have traveled to a festival and/or concert every single week this summer, since the beginning of May, performing with them. This connection has truly strengthened my artistic voice and my stamina, not to mention my versatility in working with all sorts of concert venues. If I would have known a year ago that I would be dancing onstage amidst a sensational laser light show and tribal/electronic/rock/jam music as a weekly activity now, my jaw would have dropped in amazement. The opportunities I continue to receive at each and every festival I perform at inspire me to the point of Nirvanic thankfulness and gratitude to the world and all of the facets of creativity that can collaborate together. The friendships along the way on this crazy gypsy journey have given me a unique worldview that benefits even more my sources of inspiration. Overall, my first year of college proved challenging but vastly worth all the work. From the dancer life in the studio to the neo-Renaissance festival scene, Cincinnati has brought me to a point of harmonic convergence and ceaseless energy, and I hope to never stop growing in this positive direction.
Looking back through all the mental, psychological, social, and physical memory files of my first year in college at UC CCM, my brain feels like it could explode. Although this might sound painful or overwhelming, I wouldn’t trade the experiences I had this year for the world. The amount of learning in the classroom/studio and in ways I hadn’t even expected showed me how strong and yet so vulnerable I am capable of being. Ultimately, I have unearthed and rebirthed myself several times throughout this process of higher education and have emerged as a more technically and emotionally trained dancer, both inside and out of the studio. I have learned when to push and when to let be, how to pick up more dance material faster, and how to be more precise with my technique without sacrificing my inner and outer sanctity of motion and grace. One particular time of the year that was extremely trying was January, February, and the first week of March, leading into the Choreographer’s Showcase. During this time, I danced around 35-40 hours a week between classes and all the endless rehearsals getting ready for the performance. Because I was chosen for three pieces which all had several rehearsals a week, I barely ever had a moment to just breathe. On top of this, I worked on Thursdays and Friday nights and had homework for other classes weaved into the whole struggle. I definitely had moments when I was so stressed out that I didn’t know what to do with myself, and just wanted a break. I would have to wake up for morning classes at eight or nine in the morning and not get to rest my feet or stop moving (since I had dancing all day, acting class or work in the evening, and more rehearsals after) until midnight, usually. Although the times were rough, and a tiny, cramped dormitory room had my mental state teetering over into quasi-insanity even more, I got through it and discovered just how worth it the performance always is once the hard work has been put in. It was especially exhilarating dancing in pieces that my peers choreographed because I got to see their eyes light up at the end of the process and feel the gratitude they had for my effort and attention throughout the process. In the end, performance is my ultimate source of natural thrill and ecstasy, and being in so many pieces inspired me to try my own hand at choreography this coming year. The biggest lesson I can extract from such a trying time leading up to the performance is to find the little, serene, blissful moments that appear in pockets of time when you least expect them, and to create more of them through a positive, healthy state of mind and self-respect. It’s easy when I’m worn thin to criticize myself or to question why I am doing everything if I am in such a whirlwind of classes and rehearsals to the point where I feel like a drone. However, over the course of the whole year, I discovered my resonating passion for throwing everything I have into the art form of dance. Seeing how I have grown artistically and how I have overcome some physical obstacles that I thought were impossible to work with keeps an optimistic feeling in my bones for my future. This being said, I have infinite miles to go on my journey as a professional dancer and will continue to work hard every day and to strive to take myself to a higher level.
Over the course of this year, I have developed a mind-bogglingly vast and diverse array of significant relationships and connections, each one with its own particular purpose, essence, and emotional (and sometimes professional) attachment in my life that makes me even more of who I am and who I was meant to be. I never doubted my ability to network with people, since communicating and connecting have forever been two of my favorite pastimes, but the amount of experiences I have shared with such a multitude of people sends me reeling when I think back to it all, and yet the process felt and still feels so natural. One particular group of people whom I love so very dearly and who have aided my growth and expression this year are a group of friends I became associated with, nicknamed the “Klotter Family”. This conglomeration of people who enjoy art, music, festivals, movement, and togetherness have truly inspired me to love freely, to be passionate about what I do, and to share the fruit of my labor with as many people as possible. Going into college as a young lady who always stuck out as “that artsy, eccentric person with crazy clothes” and who loved going to music festivals and concerts ever since I was sixteen years old, I knew there was bound to be a group of Cincinnati people who acted, thought, and expressed themselves the same way I did…I just had to find them. As an avid night-owl and social explorer, I spent the beginning of the year testing the waters with many different people in plenty of scenarios, but things really clicked once I met the Klotter Family people at a concert at the Mad Frog. Once I started spending time with them, my life felt much more complete with such a compassionate, open-minded group of people whom I could depend on for love, comfort, and company whenever I needed it. I ended up going to at least one or two concerts every single weekend with these fellow music-lovers, and through all the nights of jam-bands, electronic music, meditating, hula-hooping, fire-spinning, and sharing, Klotter grew an especially warm place in my heart. Around ten of them even came to see my performance in the Choreographer’s Showcase! It was awesome seeing so many dreadlocked heads in the crowd, beaming at me and cheering me on. With these people I truly feel welcomed and stimulated to create more and to change the way people see the world in a positive way. This coming year I will be living with three fellow hula-hoopers who have become some of my best friends and soul sisters, and with whom I have bonded through Klotter events and concerts. There is nothing more inspirational to me than to be around other strong young women who have a passion for art, music, health, and flow arts and who respect me for exactly who I am.
One more connection that I made in conjunction with the Klotter Family and the concert/festival scene this year was meeting the band Manitoa, whom I now tour with and perform ballet with at festivals all around Ohio and West Virginia. Finding inspiration and dance-happiness at a show that Manitoa played at Cosmo’s Bar in Covington, Kentucky in late March, I decided to tell the guitarist, Eric, how much I enjoyed his music and how talented and unique I found them all. In a magical sequence of events, Eric offered to let me dance with them onstage at all their shows from then on, and to create a unique fusion of ballet, belly dance, and “rocktronica” music which is something people have never seen before. Taken away by this offer and excited to start a new adventure, I agreed, and have traveled to a festival and/or concert every single week this summer, since the beginning of May, performing with them. This connection has truly strengthened my artistic voice and my stamina, not to mention my versatility in working with all sorts of concert venues. If I would have known a year ago that I would be dancing onstage amidst a sensational laser light show and tribal/electronic/rock/jam music as a weekly activity now, my jaw would have dropped in amazement. The opportunities I continue to receive at each and every festival I perform at inspire me to the point of Nirvanic thankfulness and gratitude to the world and all of the facets of creativity that can collaborate together. The friendships along the way on this crazy gypsy journey have given me a unique worldview that benefits even more my sources of inspiration. Overall, my first year of college proved challenging but vastly worth all the work. From the dancer life in the studio to the neo-Renaissance festival scene, Cincinnati has brought me to a point of harmonic convergence and ceaseless energy, and I hope to never stop growing in this positive direction.